"Mother and Daughter," by Sali Swalla
MOTHER TROUBLES/TROUBLED MOTHERS
Writing the Sometimes Fearsome, Often Fierce, and (Almost) Always Fraught
Mother/Daughter Relationship
Course Overview
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Some mothers leave too soon. Some hover too close. Some love us wildly but can’t keep us safe. Some are deeply damaged. Some damage us deeply. In this course, we’ll read and write our way through the tangled terrain of the mother-daughter relationship—a bond that shapes our sense of self like no other.
Together, we’ll explore the many dimensions of that bond: enmeshment and estrangement, silence and reconciliation, harm and healing. Drawing from contemporary memoirs, we’ll examine five archetypes of troubled mothers:
We’ll close our time together by exploring how memoirists have written their way toward healing the mother/daughter bond—and how we might as well. Each week, we’ll pair close reading with generative writing exercises designed to help you shape your own story. Together, we’ll ask: How do we write about mothers who couldn’t protect us—or themselves? How do we write about someone who faltered and perhaps failed? And what might it mean to write about our mothers with clarity, care, compassion, and maybe even forgiveness? |
"Every mother contains her daughter in herself and every daughter her mother and every mother extends backwards into her mother and forwards into her daughter." --C. G. Jung
"Mother and Daughter," by Xiaohe Zheng
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The mother-daughter relationship is among the most profound—and complicated—stories we carry. In this thoughtful and tender community, we’ll begin to lighten the burden of our mother troubles—and our troubled mothers—by writing the stories we’ve carried for so long, and learning about the craft of doing so.
Course Structure
"Mother and Daughter," by Mahesh Annapure
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Each 90-minute session will include:
For participants who request it, accountability partners will be assigned for a weekly sharing session of writing between 500-1000 words. Please note: While there will be a new memoir under discussion each week, no reading is required, only encouraged. |
*Mother-Types Week By Week
Week One: The Absent Mother
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Themes include: Abandonment, giving a daughter up for adoption, custody loss or divorce, death/suicide, Alzheimer’s/dementia/aging, illness or health crisis, caregiving overload, incarceration, war, displacement, immigration/migration, artistic or career ambition, religious fervor, trauma
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Week Two: The Unstable/Mentally Ill Mother
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Themes include: Depression, addiction, bipolar disease, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, narcissism or other personality disorders, eating disorders or disregulated eating, addiction to beauty/external appearances, PTSD
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Week Three: The Abusive Mother
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Themes include: Physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse, torture, gaslighting, physical or psychological neglect, complex and mixed abuse
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Week Four: The Enmeshed Mother
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Themes include: Blurred boundaries, over-controlling, over-indentification with their daughters, push/pull relationship, emotional dependence, role reversal/parentification, co-dependence, inappropriate intimacy/oversharing, emotional blackmail
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Week Five: The Mysterious/Unknowable Mother
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Themes include: Her elusive, emotionally opaque, baffling, or distant nature, how she was shaped by trauma/s she failed to articulate, cultural or identity or family secrets, hidden illness or pathologies, posthumous revelations
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Week Six: Healing the Mother/Daughter Wound
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Themes include: Healing strategies such as research, revelation of personal or family or cultural secrets, therapy, writing, intergenerational work, becoming a mother oneself, recognition of family patterns, including how the writer is more like her mother than she’d care to admit, bravery, confrontation, caregiver reversal, creative expression, bodywork, posthumous understanding and forgiveness
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Note: Even if one or more of these weeks do not apply to your particular mother-type, there will be inclusive writing prompts
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Frequently Asked Questions
Will the course be recorded and available to all participants?
Are there any refunds if I change my mind or have circumstances beyond my control?
Do I have to be a memoir writer to attend?
Do I have to be a woman to attend?
Then why not just do a course on the troubled mother/child relationship?
Will I have to share my story with others?
Why you, Jennifer? Your writing opus doesn't seem to include much of anything about mothers and daughters.
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"Mother and Daughter," by Lubna Al-Lahham
"Mother and Daughter," by Julie Nicholls
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“The mother-daughter relationship is the most mysterious of all human bonds.” --Wynonna Judd
Come explore the mystery with me in this special summer event.
Michelle Kumata